Better Than No One
"Better Than No One" is a song featured on the Ren and Stimpy'' a''lbum You Eediot! The song opens with Stimpy tap-dancing, with Ren thinking that he looks stupid in doing so. However, Stimpy convinces Ren to join him, after which they sing about their odd friendship. Lyrics :Speech :Ren: Steempy! What's all that racket about? :Stimpy: I'm tap-dancing, Ren! Pretty good, huh? :Ren: Eet just sounds like noise to me! And you look even more stupid than usual. :Stimpy: Oh, pshaw! Tap-dancing is fun, Ren. Why don't you join me? :Ren: Ohhh nooo! I'm no eediot. :Stimpy: Oh, come on. No one will ever see you. :Ren: No way! :Stimpy: Just put these shoes on and move your feet... :Ren: BACK OFF, MAN! I can do it... :Stimpy: Now, don't you feel better? :Ren: Hey! Thees ees fun! You're right, Steempy. I'm sorry I'm all the time so mean to you. :Stimpy: Think nothin' of it, buddy! :Ren: Pal! :Stimpy: It's really great to have a chum :Who's kind and caring and lots of fun :He slaps me around when I feel blue :Only a pal would do that for you :His name is Ren and when it comes to a friend :No one is better! :Speech :Your turn, pal! :Ren: OK, buddddd... steps on his foot AAAAAHHHH! YOU EEDIOT! If you're going to tap-dance, do it on your own two feet! :Stimpy: Whoops! :Ren: He's really fat, burps but I admit :Stimpy: What's that, Ren? :Ren: He's not so dumb... :Stimpy: Joy! :Ren: ...for an eediot! :I hate the smell of his steenky litter box :And when he fills with glue my stay-put socks :He's lost his mind, but when I'm een a bind :He's better than no one! :Would you comb my hair? :Stimpy: With glee! :Ren: Would you shave my tongue? :Stimpy: For free! :Ren: Would you cleanse my spleen? :Stimpy: Whoopee! :Both: You're the friend for me! :Ren: My friend to the end... :Stimpy: That's me! That's me! :Ren: ...Which I hope is soon... :Stimpy: He hopes is soon! :Ren: ...Has a head full of air... :Stimpy: A head full of air? :Ren: ...like a red balloon! :Stimpy: A balloon head? Wow! What a great thing to be! :You always say the nicest things to me. :Ren: You're a fool! :Stimpy: But I think you're cool. :No one is better! :Would you tell me a story? :Ren: No way! :Stimpy: Would you pick my nose? :Ren: For pay... :Stimpy: Would you scratch my back? :Ren: No! :Stimpy: Pluck my brows? :Ren: No! :Stimpy: Clean my box? :Ren: Erghhhh! :Stimpy: Lick my fur? :Speech :Ren: Alright, Steempy! That's eet! I've had enough of your stuuuuuupid questions! The answer is NO! No, I tell you! A thousand times, NOOOOOOO! :Stimpy: Oh, just asking! :Ren: We're opposites by nature. :Stimpy: He's a dog, and I'm a cat, I think. :Ren: But put us both together... :Stimpy: ...And we're a purr-fect match! :Ren: Shut up! :Stimpy: Yes, sir! :I'm glad he's here to tell me what to do! :Ren: Aw, somebody's got to think for you. :You may be a dud, but when I need a bud :You're better than no one! :Stimpy: No one is better! :Ren: You're better than... :Stimpy: No one is... :Ren: Better than... :Stimpy: No one... :Both: No one... is better. Trivia *The song was also used as the end credits music for the Nickelodeon Friends Variety Pack VHS. Category:Songs